A Sinner Saved By Grace

It has really been quite the year. Not a typical year, but more of one to learn , to grow and to be able to let go and move on from. However, I do regret things that occurred, I also am beginning to realize God is willing to use it to mold me. Mold me to be more like his son. Lessons may not have been learned any other way and as I start to look back, it was a piece to the puzzle he has planned for my life. I will be the first to admit I disobeyed God immediately when I put my Wants before God's Will. As God puts my weaknesses into the light I am humiliated yet in awe of the sense that even though I have completely screwed up he is still willing to forgive me and continue to love me unconditionally. I surely don't deserve it, but freely he gives...

My mind is constantly at work trying to fathom this God I believe in..How does he stay so patient, so loving to a sinner like me? In our society when a person does you wrong the common thing to do is hold a grudge against that person forever and ever, not ever making the effort to speak to them, to even look at them, and forgiving them, psht, that definitely isn't an option! I step back from the worldly view and look at the example God sets for us, and through his humility he continuously forgives..He wipes our slain clean whether it be a thousand times, or a hundred thousand times. God the perfect example of the 'bigger person'.

What would my life, my sin look like back when Jesus walked the earth? It would have been something like Matthew 26. Judas one of the twelve disciples, betrayed Jesus, he was payed to reveal the Messiah and so he did, with a kiss. My sin, it is that kiss, it is like the thorns in Jesus' head, the nails hammered deep into his wrists and feet, or the stones that were thrown at him for hours on end. Through all of that, Jesus' response to me is one word: Love. I could be the worst pains in his life, yet when I cry out to him with a heart of repentance, he forgives me and loves me anyways.

I don't understand how he does it, but I do know one thing. Until the day I go and visit my father, my Savior and my best friend I will love him heart, mind soul and strength everyday. I will forget about my wants and erase them from the picture so that my soul will yearn for one thing only: His will.

Lord, forgive me of my foolish heart. Thank you for being a God who is so much bigger than anything I may ever face. Thank you for your patience, love and grace that is abundant in your Son. God, I don't in anyway deserve your love, but I know you freely give it to me, so with that I pray this life would be given to you. Please, take this life, and make it holy for you. In all I do I pray it would be to glorify you. In your holy and precious name I pray, Amen.

CHRISTmas

Besides the normal things that bother me at school, such as teachers who dont teach and ridiculous homework, there has been something really making me crazy lately. The word Christmas is banned.
Teachers have been apologizing for saying Christmas, and instead of Merry Christmas it has been twisted to the Happy Holidays or enjoy your winter break. The whole purpose of this season is to celebrate the birth of Jesus! Not to just have a "winter break." I have been told Christmas is banned at school because it offends people who dont celebrate it. Really?! This country was founded on Christian beliefs and if you celebrate something else them im sorry but too bad! This is America a Christian nation! Taking Jesus out of this wonderful season is like taking the heart out of a person. The season is nothing without him, he is the reason for the season. Why doesnt the school district quit acting childlike and just put the truth as it is! For those who dont celebrate all i say to you is LIFE IS TOUGH, get over it. Lets put Christ to be the main focus of this season and celebrate his birth and his life everywhere and everyday! Lets be done with this "mask."

The Heart of a Warrior

With all that I had going on today I decided to take a relaxing run out on the trail just to clear my mind, talk to God and listen to some inspiring music. All was going well as I was praying about those that I come in contact with and how my life is to reflect Christ. As I was approaching an older man who was speed walking, I began to think about how proud of him I was. This probably sounds quite odd, but I was proud of him for not being lazy like 70% of normal Americans. I passed by him and he gave me the thumbs-up and smiled. In return I chuckled and managed to say "thanks". Something was different about that man. In that moment I asked God to be with him, to heal him and bless him. Though I knew nothing about him I felt like I had a reason for coming in contact with him.

I was now on my way back and nearing the last mile of my run and I came from behind the man, and I said great job there. He replied with "hey, great job to you, keep it up." Still I had this longing to know more about this nice man.

One last time I passed him heading back to my mom and he said to me "thank you for your encouragement" and I said " no thank you that was very kind of you." He asked me if I could talk to him for a moment and I said absolutely. At that moment millions of thoughts flooded my mind... His first few words were "This past year I have been battling Pancreatic Cancer, and these past six months I have been doing chemotherapy." Then he continued to tell me that he used to be a runner in high school and he continued it throughout his life. Now he believes that the reason he is winning this fight against pancreatic cancer is because he stayed healthy and strong through his years. With that he explained how great it was that I was out staying active and healthy and how much it benefits our lives in the future, he strongly encouraged me to keep it up my whole life. I thanked this man for telling me his story and I agreed that I am going to do my best to stay fit. Our conversation concluded and right before we began going our seperate ways I said to him "God Bless" at that moment he said thank you so much. Thats all it took.

Today was not an ordinary day for me, it was a day I will remember and one that I truely look onto my life and count all my blessings. I knew by the look in his eyes this man I met today had the heart of a warrior. He was not ready to give up like many do, but he was going to battle with all that he had.

Love, love, love

Christmas List

My Christmas List for 2010:
TOMS

Traffic Lights

A few weeks ago I was sitting at a traffic light on my way to soccer practice and I was thinking to myself "Come on people drive faster and let our lane go, I'm gonna be late!" Right then I realized maybe other people are in a rush or on their way to something much more important than I am.. Then this past weekend as my family and I were on our way to my grandmothers funeral we were coming really close to being late. I realized that when I was heading to soccer, it really wasnt something crucial. Then it came back to me everyday people are in situations that are way more important than our own sometimes. I had to remind myself a few times that I am not the only one here. Now when I am going to be late to something not that important I think of my family on the way to the funeral and it makes me want to let those kind of people go before me. Taking the time to think about others and not just myself really hits home in situations like that.

Summer is done... now school

It has been a while since I have done a post. Actually it has been the whole summer! Now summer is over and tomorrow is back to school once again... except there is something different about starting this year unlike other years. In the past I dread the end of summer, but this year I am glad I had a great summer but am ready to get back to Stahl. I am glad to be in 9th grade now and be the top class of the school, and I am also excited for the challenges and the thrill of being an ASB officer. One of the most important things about this year is going to be Lift. Lift is a Bible Study that goes on before school on Wednesdays at Forza, and this year Brittain and I will be leading it. One of the reasons I am very excited for this is because there were some people I feel God put into my life last year to disciple to and help them know God better, but I was a little bit scared and I didnt want to seem over the top. But now I feel that if God still wants to use me he will make it clear to me to bring them to Lift. I believe God is going to do many great things in Stahl this year and I cant wait to see them unfold according to his plans.

P.S. If you have any ideas of a book of the Bible to read for Lift please share... I am thinking New Testament because it may make more sense and not be as confusing :) thanks!