A Sinner Saved By Grace

It has really been quite the year. Not a typical year, but more of one to learn , to grow and to be able to let go and move on from. However, I do regret things that occurred, I also am beginning to realize God is willing to use it to mold me. Mold me to be more like his son. Lessons may not have been learned any other way and as I start to look back, it was a piece to the puzzle he has planned for my life. I will be the first to admit I disobeyed God immediately when I put my Wants before God's Will. As God puts my weaknesses into the light I am humiliated yet in awe of the sense that even though I have completely screwed up he is still willing to forgive me and continue to love me unconditionally. I surely don't deserve it, but freely he gives...

My mind is constantly at work trying to fathom this God I believe in..How does he stay so patient, so loving to a sinner like me? In our society when a person does you wrong the common thing to do is hold a grudge against that person forever and ever, not ever making the effort to speak to them, to even look at them, and forgiving them, psht, that definitely isn't an option! I step back from the worldly view and look at the example God sets for us, and through his humility he continuously forgives..He wipes our slain clean whether it be a thousand times, or a hundred thousand times. God the perfect example of the 'bigger person'.

What would my life, my sin look like back when Jesus walked the earth? It would have been something like Matthew 26. Judas one of the twelve disciples, betrayed Jesus, he was payed to reveal the Messiah and so he did, with a kiss. My sin, it is that kiss, it is like the thorns in Jesus' head, the nails hammered deep into his wrists and feet, or the stones that were thrown at him for hours on end. Through all of that, Jesus' response to me is one word: Love. I could be the worst pains in his life, yet when I cry out to him with a heart of repentance, he forgives me and loves me anyways.

I don't understand how he does it, but I do know one thing. Until the day I go and visit my father, my Savior and my best friend I will love him heart, mind soul and strength everyday. I will forget about my wants and erase them from the picture so that my soul will yearn for one thing only: His will.

Lord, forgive me of my foolish heart. Thank you for being a God who is so much bigger than anything I may ever face. Thank you for your patience, love and grace that is abundant in your Son. God, I don't in anyway deserve your love, but I know you freely give it to me, so with that I pray this life would be given to you. Please, take this life, and make it holy for you. In all I do I pray it would be to glorify you. In your holy and precious name I pray, Amen.